On: Being independent
The realization that you are bound by nothing Dear One, but the limits of your own choices and your own imagination – that is what true independence is.
On: Determining how they treat you
Treat yourself well Dear One; with kindness, love, honestly, flexibility, generosity, compassion, forgiveness, and respect.
Why?
Because they’re watching and are taking their lead from you.
On: Getting over it, quicker
If your goal is to prolong your suffering Dear One, to make it worse, add to it, to expand upon it, and invite as many people as you possible can to join you in it, then by all means keep talking about it, beating yourself up about it, focusing on it, and judging yourself harshly for whatever it is that you believe that you have done or have had done to you.
But, if what you desire is to let it go, heal from it, improve upon it, distance yourself from it, change it for the better, move past it, and in every way possible, get over it as quickly as you possibly can, then you’re going to want to choose positive, loving, compassionate, hopeful and enthusiastic thoughts, feelings, and behaviors instead.
What’s it going to be Dear One?
On: Those little pricks
We know that you are tough Dear One and we know that you are strong, and clever, and resourceful tool. We know that you are extremely capable of coping with, adapting to, accepting, and working around obstacles, difficulties, and pain.
But the truth is that we don’t want you to be.
What we want for you Dear One, is that when you first feel that splinter go in, when you first feel that little prick of pain, when that alarm sounds and you experience those first pangs of concern, distress, discomfort, hurting, or dis-ease, that you give your coping skills a rest for a change.
We don’t want to see you reach for your usual box of Band-Aids and show us and the rest of the world just how well you can adapt to it, cope with it, rationalize it or downplay it and keep on going. What we want Dear One, is to see you reach for the tweezers instead.
We don’t want you getting better, and becoming more practiced at learning to live with the little pricks in your life. We want you getting better at removing them, while they are still small, before they have a chance to take root, evolve, spread, and grow and into bigger ones.
On: How to stop feeling badly
Your bad feelings are merely a symptom.
They are a symptom that arises when what you want, what you desire, what you feel you deserve, what you feel you are entitled to, is not in alignment with, or a reflection of, what you’ve got.
And here are two ways that you can go about finding relief from this very uncomfortable symptom Dear One:
- Get what you want, and do it in such a way that you enjoy the process of doing so. (That last part is really important).
- Want something else, maybe even something that you’ve already got.
(And if you were just thinking that that last one sounded a whole lot like we were talking about gratitude here Dear One, you should know, that you’d be right.)
On: Carry ons
You know you don’t have to carry the feelings, doubts, disappointments, or regrets from yesterday with you into today Dear One.
It is just as easy for you to leave them behind as it is for you to take them with you. All that is required is a little bit of consciousness.
There is no rule that says that you must carry all of your baggage with you from one day to the next. What you carry with you is a choice.
And since you are the one doing the choosing Dear One, why not choose to carry on with only your very favorite things?
On: Who’s responsible for this?
Responsibility begins and end with you Dear One.
- You are responsible for the company that you keep
- You are responsible for the work that you do
- You are responsible for the choices that you make
- You are responsible for the actions that you take, and don’t take
- You are responsible for your attitude, opinions, beliefs and responses
- You are responsible for deciding what is and what is not acceptable to you
- You are responsible for when you show up, how long you stay, and when you leave
Just something to keep in mind the next time you find yourself looking around for the responsible party.
On: How to make it better
Trust.
Let go.
Smile Dear One.
On: It’s all you
Why doubt yourself, punish yourself, be hard on yourself, or skimp on yourself Dear One, when you can believe in yourself, forgive yourself, have confidence in yourself or be generous with yourself instead?
You are the one choosing the thoughts that you think, the words that you speak, and the actions that you take – no one else.
So why not choose the supportive ones, the positive ones, the loving ones that make you feel good about yourself instead?
On: Give it a rest
Sometime healing does not require a new herb, potion, tonic or pill Dear One. Sometimes it does not require a new way of thinking, moving, eating, or behaving. Sometimes it does not require a new mantra, meditation, massage or treatment. Sometimes it doesn’t even require compassion, understanding, insight or forgiveness.
Sometimes Dear One, the only thing that is required to heal, is rest.
So, before you go off in search of a new answer, a new technique, a new practice, a new method, a new plan for healing your body, for healing your mind, for healing your life, why not give resting a try first and see how you feel.