You can never undo that which has been done Dear One.

Once you have had an experience, for better or for worse, it is yours forever.

And regardless of how deeply you wish it could be so, no amount of regret, guilt, remorse, anger, self-pity, self-loathing, sadness, or hatred is ever going to change that.

But that does not mean that there is nothing you can do about it.

At any moment that you choose Dear One, you can decide to change the way that you feel about it, change the way you think about it, change what it means to you, or change its significance or importance in your life.

And changing that,  changes everything.

Raging, fearing, criticizing or whining about what is Dear One, is about as useful as shaking your fist at the rain during a rainstorm is.

No matter how much effort you exert, no matter how much you wish it wasn’t so, no matter how unjust you think it might be, there is really nothing that you can do to stop the water from falling from the sky.

But what you can do is choose how you are going to react to it.

You can stay inside if you want to. You can go outside with an umbrella, a rain coat, rubber boots, or all three. You can run around the block without your clothes on, or you can choose to go out in your favorite suede coat. You can dance in a puddle or take a walk with a lightening rod.

You can’t stop the rain Dear One, but you can choose how you are going to experience it.

Don’t settle Dear One. No matter what. Never, ever settle.

Why not?

Because the universe has placed no cap on your potential – on what you can do, be or have – on just how far you can go.

So there is absolutely no good reason why you should either.

If you want to be useful Dear One, don’t help them to carry their burden.

Help them to put it down instead.

A lack of confidence in yourself is just an excuse Dear One, it is not a good enough reason not to try.

So many of you keep asking us and yourselves “What am I doing wrong?”

When things don’t go according to plan, when things don’t turn out as expected, when things don’t go as desired, as you hoped they would, as you wanted them to, as you needed them to, the first thing you very often ask when the dust begins to settle is “What did I do wrong?”

And we can tell you Dear One.  We have the answer to that question.

Here it is:  You did absolutely nothing wrong.

How do we know?  How can we say for sure?

Because there is no right or wrong Dear One. Right or wrong is a judgment.  There is only connection or disconnection, allowing or resistance, living your life with an open heart or a closed one.

That is all.

So the next time that things go awry, in a very small inconsequential way, or in a very large and significant way, instead asking yourself “What did I do wrong?”, trying asking yourself this: Did I choose connection or disconnection? Did I choose allowing or resistance? Did I choose with an open heart or a closed one?

Do that Dear One, and what you will end up with will not be a list of judgements against yourself, a list of your faults, mistakes, bad decisions, or weakness, but a way out, a list of solutions instead.

• Do you like hiking, gardening, and being outdoors?
• Do you like movies, theatre, and literature?
• Does your life have value, meaning and significance?
• Are you smart enough, strong enough, clever enough, and brave enough?
• Are you special?  Are you worthy? Do you matter?

What do all of these question have in common Dear One?

The answer that you give to them is the only answer that matters.

If you want to know what’s wrong with the world Dear One, and your response to the anger is anger, to the outrage is outrage, to the violence is violence, and to the hatred is hatred, you should know that regardless of how good your intentions are, that you need not look any further than yourself to find the answer.

• You cannot undo that which has been done
• You cannot change a moment in the past
• You cannot take back words once they have been spoken
• You cannot always fix it

But you can always apologize Dear One.

An apology is meant to serve as a diffuser, an acknowledgment of regret, an opportunity for forgiveness, to allow the release of the hurt feelings created as a result of hurtful act, whether it was intentional or not.

But before it can have any chance of successfully doing any of these things, it is necessary that you first forgive yourself.

It is essential that you first release the pain, the sorrow, the guilt, the regret that you are holding onto within you.  It is essential  that you find a way to let it go, and open up, and heal that space within you so that you can show them how its done, show them what it looks like to do so, have room in your heart to share with them Dear One, to help give them the strength to do the same.

We understand that what we are asking is not an easy thing to do.

But remember, that what you are asking them to do is even more difficult than that.

How can you even think of asking them to do this very difficult thing, to accept your apology, to consider forgiveness Dear One, if you are not willing to do the very difficult work necessary to forgive yourself first