If your goal is to extend your suffering Dear One, to make it worse, add to it, expand upon it, and invite as many people as you possible can to join you in it, then by all means keep talking about it, beating yourself up about it, focusing on it, and judging yourself harshly for whatever it is that you believe that you have done or have had done to you.

But, if what you want is find relief, heal from it, improve upon it, distance yourself from it, change it for the better, move past it, and in every way possible, get over it as quickly as you possibly can, then you’re going to want to stop doing all of those things and choose positive, loving, compassionate, hopeful and forgiving thoughts, feelings, and behaviors instead.

In what direction are you traveling today Dear One?  Which way are you headed?

Are you moving closer to that which you want or are you moving closer towards that which you do not want?

Not sure?

Here’s a very simple way for you to figure it out.

Ask yourself this question; Are you allowing yourself to be guided by your heart,  by your hopes, dreams, desires, and a vision of success for yourself, or are you being guided by your fears, doubts, uncertainties, and your insecurities?

Your answer will tell you all that you need to know.

Making the decision to be brave Dear One, is far from a risky decision.

In fact, it is probably one of the safest decisions that you can make.

Why?

Because being brave requires you to trust and in order to trust you must connect with your heart, listen to what it has to say and allow it to guide you.

What could be safer than that?

You want to play it safe Dear One?

Take the leap.

Why bother doing all that you can Dear One, when you can get by doing just enough?

Why bother doing the right the thing when no one really seems to care or to even be paying attention?

Why bother trusting, and making the harder, braver, more challenging choice when you’ve got something to lose?

Why bother putting in the extra effort to be thoughtful, generous, loving, persistent, patient, forgiving, and kind when it is not requested, required or expected?

Because what you put out is what you get back.

That’s why.

You can spend your whole life following the rules invented by others for themselves Dear One, or you can do what you are meant to be doing – which is writing your own rules.

Which feels like a better fit for you today, their rules or yours?

Friend, boyfriend, lover, wife, spouse, partner, neighbor, sister, brother, cousin, best friend, confidant, significant other, soul mate, buddy, companion, associate, cohort or chum. 

You have lots of ways of defining, categorizing and labeling your relationships Dear One.  And we realize that these measures can be greatly varied, intricately complicated, highly emotional, and hold a great deal of significance for you.   We know that they strongly influence and in some cases totally determine how you act towards someone, how you think, feel and react around them, and your expectations of them.   We get it. We really do understand.

But from where we are standing there truly is only one measure by which all relationships are defined, categorized and labeled — and that measure Dear One, is the amount of love shared.

As we see it, how you choose to define a relationship is so much less significant than the amount of love that you choose to bring to it and allow yourself to experience within it.

So, what is in a name Dear One?

As far as we are concerned, as long as there is love there, not a whole hell of a lot.

Leave it all alone Dear One. Forget about trying to pick it all back up.  Truly.  Just let it all lay there exactly where it is for the moment.

And only when you are ready – start to pick back up the pieces – but selectively this time.  Choose intentionally.  Choose consciously.  Choose wisely. Pick up only those pieces that you truly want, that you truly desire, that you know will contribute to feelings of joy, love, laughter, connection and happiness in your life.  But do so, one-at-a-time.

If you keep on trying to carry the whole load with you everywhere that you go, you will only find yourself needlessly bogged down, yet again, incredibly overwhelmed, yet again and in a prime position to drop it all, yet again.

Do just one thing at a time Dear one, joyously, with an open mind and an open heart, and you will be right back on track – aligned with your life’s mission – to complete nothing and experience everything.

Remember, you never get it done.  You’ll never be finished. There is no finish line you are racing towards.  If you don’t remember to enjoy yourself along the way, then you will be missing out on the very best part of being alive, of existence.

Your life is meant to be a joy Dear One, and if the things that you are doing, from day-to-day-to-day, are no longer bringing you joy, then it is time to let them go.  Simply put them down or leave them down, and step away.

This is not a test Dear One.  And it is not some puzzle to figure out either.  Challenges are not trials.

This is your life.  YOUR life, to do with as you please.

There truly are no have to’s. There are only choices, and they are all yours to make.

Beginnings are wonderful things.  They are exciting, hopeful, limitless, exhilarating, filled with possibility, promise, and the unknown.

In the beginning, anything can happen, anything is possible.

And this Dear One, is only the beginning.

Wake up and approach this day, and every situation, opportunity, and relationship in it with this attitude, and watch as your life transforms.

Why beat yourself up with should-haves, would-haves, and could-haves Dear One, when what you didn’t do then, is, and always will be, so much less important than what you choose to do now.