You can spend your whole life following the rules invented by others for themselves Dear One, or you can do what you are meant to be doing – which is writing your own rules.

Which feels like a better fit for you today, their rules or yours?

Friend, boyfriend, lover, wife, spouse, partner, neighbor, sister, brother, cousin, best friend, confidant, significant other, soul mate, buddy, companion, associate, cohort or chum. 

You have lots of ways of defining, categorizing and labeling your relationships Dear One.  And we realize that these measures can be greatly varied, intricately complicated, highly emotional, and hold a great deal of significance for you.   We know that they strongly influence and in some cases totally determine how you act towards someone, how you think, feel and react around them, and your expectations of them.   We get it. We really do understand.

But from where we are standing there truly is only one measure by which all relationships are defined, categorized and labeled — and that measure Dear One, is the amount of love shared.

As we see it, how you choose to define a relationship is so much less significant than the amount of love that you choose to bring to it and allow yourself to experience within it.

So, what is in a name Dear One?

As far as we are concerned, as long as there is love there, not a whole hell of a lot.

Leave it all alone Dear One. Forget about trying to pick it all back up.  Truly.  Just let it all lay there exactly where it is for the moment.

And only when you are ready – start to pick back up the pieces – but selectively this time.  Choose intentionally.  Choose consciously.  Choose wisely. Pick up only those pieces that you truly want, that you truly desire, that you know will contribute to feelings of joy, love, laughter, connection and happiness in your life.  But do so, one-at-a-time.

If you keep on trying to carry the whole load with you everywhere that you go, you will only find yourself needlessly bogged down, yet again, incredibly overwhelmed, yet again and in a prime position to drop it all, yet again.

Do just one thing at a time Dear one, joyously, with an open mind and an open heart, and you will be right back on track – aligned with your life’s mission – to complete nothing and experience everything.

Remember, you never get it done.  You’ll never be finished. There is no finish line you are racing towards.  If you don’t remember to enjoy yourself along the way, then you will be missing out on the very best part of being alive, of existence.

Your life is meant to be a joy Dear One, and if the things that you are doing, from day-to-day-to-day, are no longer bringing you joy, then it is time to let them go.  Simply put them down or leave them down, and step away.

This is not a test Dear One.  And it is not some puzzle to figure out either.  Challenges are not trials.

This is your life.  YOUR life, to do with as you please.

There truly are no have to’s. There are only choices, and they are all yours to make.

Beginnings are wonderful things.  They are exciting, hopeful, limitless, exhilarating, filled with possibility, promise, and the unknown.

In the beginning, anything can happen, anything is possible.

And this Dear One, is only the beginning.

Wake up and approach this day, and every situation, opportunity, and relationship in it with this attitude, and watch as your life transforms.

Why beat yourself up with should-haves, would-haves, and could-haves Dear One, when what you didn’t do then, is, and always will be, so much less important than what you choose to do now.

Just in case you were wondering Dear One, the antidote to conflict is acceptance.

Complete and total acceptance.

Not approval.  Not agreement.  Not compromise.  Not settling.  Not accommodating.  Not pretending.  Not lying.  Not cheating. Not faking it.  And most definitely not resignation.

If you want to diffuse a conflict Dear One, accept what is, exactly as it is, for exactly what it is, as quickly as you possibly can.

And once you do, once you stop pushing, resisting, railing against what is, once you let go of the emotional charge that conflict brings to a situation, then, and only then, will you be in a position (a very powerful one actually) to make a thoughtful, rational, intentional, and heartfelt decision about what you are going to do next.

If with one hand you are reaching back Dear One, holding on to things in your past, and with the other you are reaching out ahead of you, holding on to a vision of your future, is it any wonder that you feel as if you are being pulled in two different directions in the here and now?

You should know that which is for your greatest good is and will always be, right here, in the present moment.

The tradition of joining both hands together at your heart for prayer, for meditation, for your daily practice, is meant to be a reminder for you of this.

Be. Here. Now.

In this moment, never mind what you should be doing or could be doing Dear One.  Never mind what they need from you or what they want from you.  Never mind what their expectations are.  Let them go.

In this moment all that really matters is you – what you think of you – what you want from you – what you expect from you – what you want this day to be.

When was the last time that you allowed the sound of your own voice, your own heart, your own wants, your own needs to lead you – regardless of the needs, wants and expectations of those around you?

In this moment, ignore them Dear one.  Ignore all of them and listen only to yourself, to you own inner voice.  Pay close to the details of what it has to say to you – because your own heart holds much wisdom for you.  It holds much love and compassion and forgiveness for you too.

In this moment, allow yourself to connect with that wisdom.

And in the next, allow yourself to follow it.

Don’t curse time for moving too fast Dear One, or for moving too slowly. Don’t blame it for prolonging your pain or cutting short your pleasure.

You are the one in charge of how you choose to experience its passage. You are the one who decides how you are going to spend it.  That power always has and always will rest with you, not with time.

Time is a gift Dear One.  Not a curse.

Make a choice to experience it intentionally and consciously, with ease, grace and gratitude.

Use it.  Enjoy it.  Celebrate it. Open yourself up to it.

The experience of it is, after all, one of the biggest reasons you are here.