Our words are not always going to be comforting Dear One, because comfortable is not what is always going to serve you best.

(But they will always be supportive, encouraging, optimistic and filled with unconditional love.) 

Joy is not rooted in comfort.  Joy is rooted in movement, in progress, in forward motion, and most importantly, in growth.

Think about your greatest moments of joy Dear One.  Think about where they came from. Did they originate out of comfort, from comfortable circumstances, or from something else?

It is not our job, our goal, or our intention to make you feel comfortable.

It is our honor, our pleasure, our delight to you to help you grow, to learn, to acquire knowledge, to move forward, to make progress and experience as much joy as you possibly can.

And making you feel comfortable has very little to do with that.

• You are not allowed to be shallow.
• You are not allowed to be cruel.
• You are not allowed to be offended.
• You are not allowed to hate.
• You are not allowed to run away.
• You are not allowed to hold a grudge.
• You are not allowed to tell a lie.

Who made up these rules anyway Dear One?

Was it you?  It was certainly not us.

Not one of these things is true you know.

You are allowed to indulge in each and every one them if you should choose to do so.

But recognize that is a choice Dear One.  And whenever you make a choice, we want you to do so consciously, intentionally, ready to take full responsibility for the impact of that choice on yourself, on others and on the world around you.

What you put out there is what comes back to you Dear One. That is a universal law.

Do, be, or say anything that you would like.  You have our permission.  You are allowed.  But do so with full awareness of the fact that with every choice that you make you are establishing a point of attraction for yourself, you are extending an invitation out to the universe to send you back an energetic match.

So, yes, you are allowed to do anything that you would like Dear One.  But now that you understand the rules, do you still want to?

When you choose to ignore guidance, Dear One, or your own intuition, or a hunch, and take action instead based on some other seemingly compelling force, and things don’t work out – and you realize that if you had only trusted yourself, they would have – do not punish yourself for that choice.

The experience of learning from not doing something is just as valuable as the experience of learning from doing something – because in both cases you are learning from experience.

When you find yourself in the midst of this particular kind of learning scenario, our hope of you is that in addition to whatever it is that you have gleaned from your trial and error experience, that you will also have learned to trust in yourself more.

• Who said that it was too hard Dear One?
• Who said that you couldn’t do it?
• Who said that you were not worth the effort?
• Who said that your way was the wrong way?
• Who said that you didn’t know better?
• Who said that your opinion didn’t matter?
• Who said don’t even bother trying?

And who chose to believe that they were right?

• Do more of what feels good.
• Do less of what feels bad.

• If it pleases you, pay attention to it.
• If it does not please you, give it as little of your attention as you possibly can, none if you can manage it.

• Smile, a lot.

That’s all there is to it!

Simple, not easy.

But totally worth the effort, we can assure you of that.

• You cannot undo that which has been done
• You cannot change a moment in the past
• You cannot take back words once they have been spoken
• You cannot always fix it

But you can always apologize Dear One.

An apology is meant to serve as a diffuser, an acknowledgment of regret, an opportunity for forgiveness, to allow the release of the hurt feelings created as a result of hurtful act, whether it was intentional or not.

But before it can have any chance of successfully doing any of these things, it is necessary that you first forgive yourself.

It is essential that you first release the pain, the sorrow, the guilt, the regret that you are holding onto within you.  It is essential  that you find a way to let it go, and open up, and heal that space within you so that you can show them how its done, show them what it looks like to do so, have room in your heart to share with them Dear One, to help give them the strength to do the same.

We understand that what we are asking is not an easy thing to do.

But remember, that what you are asking them to do is even more difficult than that.

How can you even think of asking them to do this very difficult thing, to accept your apology, to consider forgiveness Dear One, if you are not willing to do the very difficult work necessary to forgive yourself first.

Direct your energy consciously Dear One, and it will go where you send it.

You will always pretty much know in what direction it is headed, and it is unlikely that you will ever be completely surprised when it gets there.

(Excited, yes! Pleased, absolutely! Overjoyed, of course! But totally surprised, probably not.)

But stop paying attention, and hand the reigns over to your unconscious self and let it do the driving, and you can pretty much guarantee that you will always be surprised by where your energy ends up.

If that destination is a good surprise for you, fantastic! That means that your unconscious self is serving you well.

However if the destination is not a good surprise, if you are finding yourself on the receiving end of something that you did not request, that is not desired in any way, shape or form, well then you’ve got some work to do.

But you’ve also got a very useful piece of information in your hands Dear One, a confirmation that you are not paying as close attention as you could be to how you are directing and flowing your energy.

And unlike an unwelcome surprise that has already found its way to your doorstep, that is something that you absolutely can do something about.

Release your expectations of them, Dear One.

Let them follow their bliss, and you follow yours.

Because in the end your happiness is not determined by what they think, what they say, what they do or what they choose next.

It is determined by how you do all of those things.