So many of you keep asking us and yourselves, “What went wrong?”

When things don’t go according to plan, when things don’t turn out as expected, when things don’t go as desired, as you hoped they would, as you wanted them to, as you needed them to, the first thing you very often ask when the dust begins to settle is, “What did I do wrong?”

And we can tell you, Dear One.  We have the answer to that question.

Here it is:  You did absolutely nothing wrong.

How do we know?  How can we say for sure?

Because there is no such thing as right or wrong. Right or wrong are judgments.  There is only connection or disconnection, allowing or resistance, living your life with an open heart or a closed one.

That is all.

So the next time that things go awry, in a very small inconsequential way, or in a very large and significant way, instead of asking yourself “What did I do wrong?”, try asking yourself this:

• Did I choose connection or disconnection?
• Did I choose allowing or resistance?
• Did I choose with an open heart or a closed one?

Do that, Dear One, and what you will end up with will not be a list of  your faults, mistakes, bad decisions, or weakness, but a list of useful, hopeful and actionable insights instead!

Do you want to know how to be loved the way that you want to be loved, Dear One?

Love yourself well.

The only thing that makes their path more significant than yours, their contributions more valuable than yours, their successes more important than yours, their accomplishments more meaningful than yours, Dear One, is you deeming it so.

Nothing more.

Chances are, Dear One, that you are stronger than you think you are, that you are smarter than you think you are, that you are more resilient, resourceful, talented, creative, clever, useful, needed and loved than you think you are.

But unless you are willing to test your limits, unless are willing to allow yourself to move forward with confidence, to move beyond your self imposed boundaries, open to the possibility that there is more to you then you are aware of, you’ll never know for sure.

We already know what your value is. We already know what you are capable of.

Now it’s time that you know it too.

The more creative you are, Dear One, the more you trust yourself, follow your heart, and allow yourself to color outside the lines, the more you will be living a life that is of service to life itself.

There is nothing wrong with you, Dear One.  You are not broken.  You don’t need to be fixed.

You are simply not making the choices that bring you the greatest amount of joy, laughter, health, comfort, balance, peace, contentment, or connection.

You already know what they are.

You already know how you feel when you choose them.

You already know what to do.

No one can take more from you, Dear One, than you willingly give to them, be it intentionally or unintentionally.

Your depletion has absolutely nothing to do with them, with their treatment of you, or their demands on you and your time, and absolutely everything to do with your treatment of you, your demands on yourself, and on your time.

If you are feeling depleted Dear One, taken advantage of, knocked around, and no longer in control of your own time and energy, look no further than the reflection in the mirror to see the face of the only one responsible for making you feel that way.

The world will change for you, Dear One, as soon as you are ready, as soon as you are willing to change the way you look at it, and not a moment before.

Take notice of the hands that you are holding onto, Dear One, the connections that you choose to maintain.

Are they helping you up or holding you down?  Are they pulling you back or encouraging you forward?  Are they leading you in the direction that best serves you or in the direction that best serves them?

If you are not sure, Dear One, let go for a moment or two (or three or four if you need to) and find out.

It’s important that you know.