If you want to be useful Dear One, don’t help them to carry their burden.

Help them to put it down instead.

A lack of confidence in yourself is just an excuse Dear One, it is not a good enough reason not to try.

So many of you keep asking us and yourselves “What am I doing wrong?”

When things don’t go according to plan, when things don’t turn out as expected, when things don’t go as desired, as you hoped they would, as you wanted them to, as you needed them to, the first thing you very often ask when the dust begins to settle is “What did I do wrong?”

And we can tell you Dear One.  We have the answer to that question.

Here it is:  You did absolutely nothing wrong.

How do we know?  How can we say for sure?

Because there is no right or wrong Dear One. Right or wrong is a judgment.  There is only connection or disconnection, allowing or resistance, living your life with an open heart or a closed one.

That is all.

So the next time that things go awry, in a very small inconsequential way, or in a very large and significant way, instead asking yourself “What did I do wrong?”, trying asking yourself this: Did I choose connection or disconnection? Did I choose allowing or resistance? Did I choose with an open heart or a closed one?

Do that Dear One, and what you will end up with will not be a list of judgements against yourself, a list of your faults, mistakes, bad decisions, or weakness, but a way out, a list of solutions instead.

• Do you like hiking, gardening, and being outdoors?
• Do you like movies, theatre, and literature?
• Does your life have value, meaning and significance?
• Are you smart enough, strong enough, clever enough, and brave enough?
• Are you special?  Are you worthy? Do you matter?

What do all of these question have in common Dear One?

The answer that you give to them is the only answer that matters.

If you want to know what’s wrong with the world Dear One, and your response to the anger is anger, to the outrage is outrage, to the violence is violence, and to the hatred is hatred, you should know that regardless of how good your intentions are, that you need not look any further than yourself to find the answer.

• You cannot undo that which has been done
• You cannot change a moment in the past
• You cannot take back words once they have been spoken
• You cannot always fix it

But you can always apologize Dear One.

An apology is meant to serve as a diffuser, an acknowledgment of regret, an opportunity for forgiveness, to allow the release of the hurt feelings created as a result of hurtful act, whether it was intentional or not.

But before it can have any chance of successfully doing any of these things, it is necessary that you first forgive yourself.

It is essential that you first release the pain, the sorrow, the guilt, the regret that you are holding onto within you.  It is essential  that you find a way to let it go, and open up, and heal that space within you so that you can show them how its done, show them what it looks like to do so, have room in your heart to share with them Dear One, to help give them the strength to do the same.

We understand that what we are asking is not an easy thing to do.

But remember, that what you are asking them to do is even more difficult than that.

How can you even think of asking them to do this very difficult thing, to accept your apology, to consider forgiveness Dear One, if you are not willing to do the very difficult work necessary to forgive yourself first

• You are the only one choosing the thoughts that you think.

•  You are the only one choosing the actions that you take.

• You are the only one choosing the beliefs that you hold, the words that you speak, and the attitude with which you approach your life and all of the people in it.

It’s all you Dear One, not them.

So why not decide that starting today that you are only going to choose the supportive ones, the positive ones, the loving ones, the confident ones, the compassionate, forgiving, and inspired ones that make you feel good instead?

Why choose to focus your attention on the circumstances, people, projects, events, and details in your life that you don’t like, want, need, or enjoy Dear One, when you can choose to focus it on those that you do like, want, need and enjoy instead?

(Just a small reminder that you are the one who gets to decide where your gaze will fall)

Beauty is not something that you see with your eyes Dear One, it is something that you feel with your heart.

So how do you know if what you are looking at, if what you are seeing is truly beautiful, or if it is simply an illusion, a judgment, a product of your imagination?

Close your eyes.

If it disappears, then you know.

We think that it’s time you started holding yourself more accountable for your actions Dear One.

Celebrate your victories.  Acknowledge your accomplishments.  Praise your successes.  Honor your abilities.  Each and every one of them, big and small, everyday.

When you don’t, when you dismiss them, belittle them, or simply gloss right over them and immediately shift your attention instead to that which remains undone, to that which you have not yet achieved, not yet completed, or not yet mastered, you are doing yourself a greatdisservice.  Not only are you cheating yourself out of a wonderful experience, but you are tossing aside a potentially life changing moment.

Stop doing that.

One good feeling is all it takes to turn anything around.

Celebrate, acknowledge, praise and honor your accomplishments today Dear One.  It is the surest thing that you can do for yourself to guarantee that there will be more of them tomorrow.